Failure to launch

First day of the program sucked! Because, the brain obviously needs more time to break a habit than the body does.

The cake, the cigarette, watching rocky and hitting the bed early, the excitement to restart the program did not work! My brain did not let me sleep early enough.  Having slept not a minute earlier than 2AM until now, I could not get any sleep until 3AM. Insomnia, I’ll deal with that soon enough. For now, I’m going to follow a two step method to make sure I wake up tomorrow on time.

Stage one: Battle into an early night. And to make sure of that I tired myself out the whole day. I walked where I’d take my motorcycle to. I took the stairs one too many times.

Stage two: Hydrate just a little much before I hit the bed so that my body’s alarm clock won’t snooze the minute my watch’s alarm beings to beep and will jump to action at least to go and pee. And that long a detachment from my bed and blanket is sufficient for me to get over a few extra minutes of sleep that turn into hours.

Fingers crossed. I hope tomorrow is the new beginning of the rest of my life.

Birthday Cake

The first day of this month was my 27th birthday. I went on a cycle ride to a nearby hill, indulged in some self discovery, had fun, but I did not have cake! My parents might have figured that I probably won’t eat it because I have cut down a lot on sweets and sugar. A lot! I did not ask them to get one either. The ride took almost the entire day and hence I did not bother getting one myself either. I do not host  birthday parties and hence no more opportunities of finding a cake. I did not complain neither did I want to. A month later, it irks me. It was my Birthday. Every birthday deserves a cake. And somewhere at the back of my mind, there laid a cake that was not getting eaten. So I got myself a little piece of the heavenly dessert today

This is the reason why I am starting the program. The program is going to be a part of my life. For every single day! And I will dial it up when I have an event coming up, a race or a personal challenge. Because I love cake and so many other foods. I do not want to abstain myself from eating the things I love. I’d like a regulation but not abolishment! It isn’t fair to have missed cake on my birthday. And hence, the program restarts tomorrow.

Here’s how I have prepped for it.

1. I ate my cake and threw it away too because the desire is fulfilled and now out of my system.

2. I watched rocky. Because it is the story of a simpleton being able to do great things.

3. I will smoke a cigarette tonight before I go to sleep to get some closure.

4. Instead of shaving my head off like I usually do, I left out a mohawk. Because, badass is what badass gets.

5. I’ve noted measurements of my body, to compare somewhere in the future.

6. I’ve scribbled all over my calendar on the wall with workouts for each day.

7. I have set alarms on three different devices to make sure I wake up early enough in the morning.

Resolution 2014-Part2 Introduction to The Program

Don’t get fooled by the title. Or maybe you can. At the start of this year I decided to start living cleaner and start exercising just like most of you would have. After two weeks into the year I found an exercise program online that promised six pack abs in an insanely unbelievable short amount of time. I signed up to find out that a few days of prep exercises later that the rest of the program was not free. Classic internet scam! But it gave me a great idea. “Screw you internet trainer.” I found a great set of exercises and modified them to fit the ankle I was healing that I discovered later was broken. I stuck to the program and avenged my ankle by running the TCS Bangalore 10K and finishing it at a personal best time of 0:57:14.

You must understand that prior to this I was fat, weak, alcoholic, smoked a lot of cigarettes, had no routine in my life whatsoever, healthy or otherwise. Basically a crappy existence.

The ankle fiasco required me to train a little too much too soon for the 10K. And so, after the 10K, I gave myself some rest, two months to be precise and this  time I wanted to strengthen my ankles for further training. All I did during the rest was some push ups, a little walking, regular physio for my ankles, stuck to my detox juice fairly regularly and my weight was deteriorating on its own thank to the sped up metabolism. What else happened to me during this time was that I was slowly slipping into the not so good lifestyle.

Two and a half months of rest and recovery later, on the first of august, I restart the program. And since blogs are like a diary in a digital sense, I am going to update here the second edition of what I want to call ‘the program.’ I will share the workouts I pick up on and their complications/simplifications. The diet I follow, progress and hindrances along with motivation tips and I hope to help inspire anyone or someone to live healthier.

I do have to declare that I am not a physical trainer, dietician or any such person whose information is to be accepted as completely credible. I am discovering things on a trial and error basis and merely sharing my experiences. I will not be held responsible for any difficulties or injuries you may face because you decided to follow what I do. If you are interested, do get yourself checked by a good doctor before you start working out and do not attempt to do anything that seems stupid to you.

Everybody wins a 10K

Tired, is a state of mind

This image is part of the photo series 0.0G. This photo series has the dictatorial ability to whip generally non flying things into flight without the use of adobe photoshop! A new UYFO (Unusual Yet Flying Object) produced every week.

You don’t do the 10K. The 10K does you.

Guess which one is hopping while he’s talking.

How to increase horse power.

For people who are into cars and bikes, this is what you got into cars and bikes for, to get the most out of your vehicle.

When it comes to the human body, you’d think it should be called man power. I did too and realized that that was too communist, not that there is anything wrong with communism, but when you are training for the first 10K of your life you’d like to believe that you can be compared to a horse at some level.

How can one get the most out of the human body? During my training for the TCS Bangalore 10K, after having developed the super power to heal fractures on my own, I discovered a few ways that I feel I have managed to make myself do more work in less time. (Which is what horse power is a unit of, power.) When I think about it, I figured out that the things I did are essentially the same as the things I’d do to my trusted 32 year old motorcycle.

Weight
In terms of motorcycles, the lighter they are the faster they’d get propelled by their tiny engines. I did the same, I lost a lot of the extra weight from my body. It was not as easy as taking of fenders and covers and all the useless fiberglass parts. But it was equally rewarding. My tiny calf muscles had less weight over them to support and my flimsy ankles were able to carry my body further and a little faster. In a motorcycle, you replace many of the stock moving parts for light weight parts. Similarly, increase lean muscle that does your pushing for you, reduce fat which is just dead weight and isn’t even cosmetic unlike on the bike. Wear lighter clothes, even in the winter. You are just going to sweat anyways.

Air intake.

Using performance filters and intake set ups on motorcycles have the ability to increase the efficiency of the engine by making sure that all the fuel gets burnt properly without wastage. More oxygen=more fuel burnt efficiently. I thought in terms of supercharging my body and hoisting a scuba tank with oxygen onto my back during my runs. Further experimentation rendered it impractical and defiant towards weight reduction.

What I did manage to do is pick up a breathing rhythm. One breath in and one out for each foot step when I’m sprinting and two breaths in and two out, per footstep when pacing uphills. Trimming the nose hair matters as long as you keep them long enough to prevent dust intake. Quitting smoking makes a huge difference. Blow your nose before your run. Clear your sinuses. Inhale steam if you have to. Add turmeric powder to the steam if you want to. For the slightly more adventurous and the ones that miss the smoking, take a full pepper, poke it onto a safety pin, burn it on an open flame. Inhale the resulting smoke. This is going to be very strong, but effective. Please understand what you are getting yourself into when you try this one. Trust me on this one. Taking large breaths when you are sprinting acts as having an air supply reservoir for your lungs. The theory of it is to keep your lungs fed with an uninterrupted supply of air. The methodology depends on the availability of pint sized scuba tanks.

Aerodynamics.

Streamlined cycles can get faster without even touching the tuning of the bike. Do not go buy resin and fiberglass mesh yet. Your body is already streamlined. Here are some tips though, If you have unruly hair, cut it or tie it up or better yet, shave your head, this way you can see all the aerodynamics that nature intended for us to have. If you think you have a big nose, then you should understand that everyone probably has one too, but think of all the extra air you will be getting to your lungs. Nose jobs are out of the question.

Use your hands to cut the air, fold them at the elbow at around 90 degrees, leave your wrist and fingers lose, so the air flows out through your fingers. When you sprint or pick up pace, face your palms towards each other while preserving the bend at the elbow and drive them up and down in a swinging motion at the shoulder. When you do this, be careful not to swing too hard and poke yourself in the eye.

Wear clothes that hug your body, and are not fluttering around in the wind. If you have been running for some time now, I’m sure you already have to be proud of the way your body looks. Tight clothes are not as embarrassing anymore.
Fuel.

High octane racing fuel is costlier than regular fuel. But gives you just that much more efficient combustion. It is the same in the case of the human body. Load yourself in advance with carbohydrates that burn out sugar in the body. Burning fat is also good, you can achieve this by not carbo-loading. This might not be the best performance oriented burning. At the end of it, you might have a great looking body, but that great looking body won’t be anywhere near the podium.

Imagine if the engines of our bikes could complain, they would curse us for the heat, the constant smell of fuel and most of all, about the lack of diversity in their food. Thankfully, we don’t have to deal with that. We can mix it up. From fruits to vegetables to meat to chocolates. Juices to water. The body needs lots and lots of water, before, during and after training. During the run,  adding salt to the water you drink will keep some flavor and replenish iodine levels.

Handling.

Suspension and grip are two major contributors against loss of power. The energy churned out by the engine will get wasted if it does not reach the ground by manners of the tires and to ensure that this happens, suspensions keep pushing the tires towards the ground. When running, you need to wear shoes that will give you enough grip so you will not slip on sandy sections which results in wastage of energy.

Have you tried punching the ground? No. Because you know it hurts. I know now that it hurts. Even if I wear a boxing glove and do it. Then how come it does not hurt when you fly in the air for a fraction of a second and hit hard on the ground with every step you take? Your ankle and knee joints are built to absorb that impact and simply let it go. How magnificent! Think of a time when we did not know to train horses or invent cars. We had to walk and run so we don’t become some cuddly looking cat’s dinner. Our leg joints have become strong as such over generations and generations of evolution.

In order for this system to work, the impact on the ground needs to happen at the right angle and intensity. The ankle joint is what makes sure this happens. Give your ankles the love you would give to your significant other. Do not cheat on them. Get a routine from a doctor or physiotherapist for ankle strengthening exercises. Roll your feet from paw to toe upon impact. Avoid landing on your heels. Use your heels just for a supporting touch.

Most importantly, wear the right shoes. How do you know they are the right shoes? When they feel right. When they hold your leg intact and let them do their job comfortably. There are a thousand consultations to undergo when you buy new specialized running shoes. I have shoes, they are not specialized, they are by far the second most comfortable shoes I have in my life and they are only worth Rs. 1200/- All I did was put my feet in them, made sure there is a little bit of empty space near the toes and ground my feet on the floor like an angry bull to check for grip. It is also important to check if the inside of the shoe has a curve along the lines of your foot and on the outside, the heel and paw section of the sole will sit flat on the floor.

Rest.

Do you know what happens to an overheated engine? The piston ceases up among other things. Your body might not heat up and burst into flames or even sparks. But your muscles need time to rest and rebuild themselves into stronger versions of themselves and that will not happen if you rest and get enough sleep. Before you go to rest, stretch out your muscles so they can know how much space they have to grow into. You can even use cold or ice water baths to help stop them from inflammation. If you have someone who can massage you, your good. If not, a rolling pin is your best friend and possibly even better than a massage buddy, if used right.

You cannot just expect your body to perform miracles the next morning when you run if you have not given it enough rest in the night before.

Other tips.

Train regularly. Do not give large gaps between running days. Running is stressful on lot of your joints. Give adequate rest, but do not get lazy in the process. Stretch and warm up every single time you go for a run. It makes a lot of difference in your performance. Go and run in the right frame of mind. Run, because you want to run and not anything else. Try not to run on an empty stomach thinking that you might puke or get heart burns. Experiment and see what kind of food works for you. It is mostly going to be nuts, fruits that aren’t too strong in their taste like bananas or fluids. Listen to the right kind of music. Think of happy thoughts, no matter how screwed up life could be. Even if you have warmed up, wait till your body actually warms up while running. Don’t try to push yourself until this has happened. You might be asking for disappointment and more importantly trouble in terms of cramps.

Wear a stopwatch and keep track of your run times. How else will you know if your horse power has increased or not. Every time you reach that patch of sand in your running route, slow down to notice how your footprint has a deep impression on the paw section, a little deeper one of the tow section and a further shallower impression of your heels. If you do not see this, your horsepower is probably insufficient. Don’t take my word for it. Look at your stop watch.

*Disclaimer: I am not a sports coach, nutritionist or a professional runner. I am just an average guy who believes in the ingenuity of the human body and that the human body was designed to do great things that we are too stuck up to be doing and hence disrespect the efforts of our predecessors.  The above tips are not meant to be used as advice, prophecy or commandments of any sorts. The best part of the human body is the brain, kindly apply yours before you try to take up any of the activities mentioned above. I am not responsible for any damage to your body, property, ego or anything else that might occur by doing so.*

Crusade#2 : Run-Reaffirmation

The song that began playing in my ears on my way to my morning run, moved me a little too much inside. It is the same song that plays everyday at around this time. I got excited today because the next time this song played on my playlist today, I will have just started trying to double my running distance from a steady 5kms over a very consistent two or three weeks. Thinking of the efforts that I would have to put in, got me a little too twitchy.

I planned the route to run 5kms and get back all the way to cover the 10kms. To tell the truth, I was scared! Getting to the mark where I normally turn around to complete 5kms, I had already felt exhausted. Then I told myself, “You ate chicken and sweet potatoes last night,  you cannot let that go to a waste.” and picked up my pace. I had familiarized a few faces that I see everyday. People going really early to work, auto drivers and taxi drivers who hound travelers coming back into the city on the highway, other people who go for morning walks, no runners. I began having a conversation with them in my mind, “Today you will not see me coming back before you get your ride to work or wherever else you usually go. Today, I am running 5 more kms. Could you do that, O slave of life?” My imagination tends to get the better of me sometimes.

The conquest had begun. The route I had chosen turned out to be pretty good. Pretty steady on the incline, not too rough on the terrain. I kept at it. I Had realized that I was going slower than usual. It didn’t matter to me. This route has more runners, luckily everyone was going the opposite direction, I had no challengers. I made it to my 5kms mark, turned around, caught my breath, shook off the stiffness and kept running. It was simple enough for me to know that I cannot go out and just double my running distance magically, and so I had decided to stop and walk once I was a three quarters of the way through. Mostly because the last quarter has an incline. That dreaded song had played and gone and I almost did not realize it. I was lost in my head, again. A new song began playing, and this one I never hear during my runs. It was a good one. I picked up the pace. I ran, I paced myself along that fucking incline. I ran some more, I saw people look at me like I was mad. I do not look fat and hence it confuses people when they see a seemingly skinny person run like a mad dog is after him.

My 5K runs usually end with me sprinting like a crazy person from a specific point till the end. When a crazy person says ‘crazy person,’ he means it. I was at that exact same point now and what do I do? I sprint, just like everyday. Not thinking of the fact that I had just ran double the distance. I had stayed on my feet for more than double the time than I usually do and the fact that I’m doing this with a broken ankle that healed itself without a cast is always at the back of my head.

But not now! The only things running through my head are that I’m so grateful to myself for having started doing this. I see bus drivers getting to work. Who ever sees that? All you see are bus drivers driving buses. Do you know that there are not enough bus drivers that are working at a time for bus drivers to get to work? These people walk! Take lifts! I see the dogs that have barked at me on those late nights when I’m drunk and stumbling home. I see these dogs trying to jog with me, and look me in the eye to tell me that it is going to be alright. You can do this! All I can think of when the sweat goes into my eyes and starts burning or when there is a drop of sweat getting sucked into my nostril when I breathe is that, there is hope for my lungs after all the cigarettes I’d smoked. Every impurity I’ve shoved down my body can after all be thrown out and has now a reason to be rejected from further intake in the first place. Because, I want to run! I want to run for as long as I can.

Wake up before the sun and run, you will finish the happiest part of your day even before the day has begun. Run and you will see the most incredible sights you will ever get to see. (This has a lot to do with the Dopamine release and also the pretty sunrises) Run and you will lose weight, run and you will be efficient. Run, and there will always be some amount of glory in all your other achievements. Run, and I promise you, every single time you feel a little hot, there is a breeze somewhere with your name on it that is going to cool you down. After you run, do not forget to stretch and ice your legs up to the calf muscles if necessary.